Bienvenue en France, Nagisa!
by Chiharu-senpai
Summary: What if Nagisa went abroad to France with Tamao, Mizushima, and Chihaya? Would she adapt to the culture? ...I don't know... TamaoxNagisa
1. Un Voyage de Classe

_Bonjour, _everyone! ...Well, lately I've had problems with writing AGUA. I'm hoping I can write chapter 21 soon...But in the meantime, I'm writing this hilarious fic in which Tamao, Nagisa, Mizushima, and Chihaya take a trip to France. This year I'm enrolled in French I, and I'm picking up the language really well. Over the summer my class will take a trip to France as well...

Anyways! Here's what I have so far!

(The chapter title means "a class trip.")

* * *

**BIENVENUE EN FRANCE, NAGISA!**

**Le Chapitre L'un**

**Un Voyage de Classe**

"You want me to _what?_" Nagisa squeaked, looking up from her Advanced Algebra textbook.

"Come to France with me," Tamao repeated, wiping her palms on her uniform, as she had a tendency to habitually do.

Nagisa sat at her desk, garnet eyes wide, stunned into silence. Her pencil, with its cutesy panda eraser attached to the top, slipped from her hand and fell to the floor. Tamao immediately bent down, retrieved it, and held it back out to her friend. Nagisa just stared at it as if it were a rattlesnake. She couldn't believe the poet was even _suggesting _this. She knew Nagisa was as good at French as a cat was at juggling.

Tamao tilted her head curiously, trying vainly to suppress a smile. The idea of the redhead bumbling around in the streets of Paris was super-cute, but for now just the expression on her face was enough to make the poet giggle.

"Mademoiselle Hiawata said that there was a trip to France available for upperclassmen," said she, "and I want to take my Nagisa-chan with me."

Nagisa blinked, and then seemed to snap back to the present. "I can't go! Are you crazy? I can't speak French! I've only had one year to study it."

"It's only ten days," Tamao reasoned. "Ten days, and that's it."

"No." The redhead was adamant. "I'd sooner drive upholstery tacks into my gums."

The poet was about to respond when she exploded into a fit of laughter. She held her sides and sank to the floor, giggling. Nagisa glared defiantly, but that just made Tamao laugh harder.

"Upholstery…tacks…Heeheehee…I'm sorry, Nagisa-chan…That's just really funny! Hahahahaha!"

The redhead blushed, trying to hold up her tough face. Tamao was always teasing her. _I should really be used to it by now, _she thought. But her getting offended seemed to really amuse Tamao. And if Tamao was amused, she was happy. And it seemed ever since that disastrous Étoile election the poet had very little to be happy about these days. _If only Tamao-chan could be happier…_

Nagisa sighed, figuring a trip to France would make her friend happy. And hey, she could use a vacation.

---

Mizushima sighed, her mechanical pencil hovering absently over some incomplete math problem. Stupid Hino-sensei and her assigning math homework every single day. She was enrolled in Advanced Algebra, like all the Miator fifth years, and they were currently learning about factorials. Math had always been the archer's weakness…

"Five times four times three times two times one."

Mizushima looked up, behind her shoulder, into the grinning face of Chihaya, her room mate. Her eyebrows slanted over her blue eyes, and she muttered, "I knew that."

"Doubt it." Chihaya's smile stretched wider as she analyzed the rest of Mizushima's work. "All of these are wrong, just so you know."

"Gee, thanks." With a huff, the archer turned away from Chihaya, her eyes focused intently on her pencil. She wrote down _5x4x3x2x1, _then wrote _100 _for her answer. She thought Chihaya had gone away when: "You have no clue what you're doing."

"Yes, I do," she insisted brusquely.

"Mmm, no…I don't know how in the world you got one hundred, but that's dead wrong. The answer's one hundred and twenty."

Mizushima sighed and scrubbed away the _100_, replacing it with _120. _Clearly, Chihaya was not going to let her alone on this one, but the archer wasn't ready to throw in the towel yet.

"So are you going on that class trip to France?" she asked conversationally.

Behind her, she heard Chihaya snicker. "Heheh…Erm, yes I am." Mizushima jumped when she felt the cook's arms around her waist. "I saw you requested me as your room mate! That's so sweet!"

"Well, uh…" Mizushima blushed. She hoped Chihaya didn't see (but she probably did). She tried to pull away. "Who else would I room with?" Suddenly math seemed more appealing. She reconsidered her textbook, mumbling, "Twelve times eleven times ten…"

Chihaya giggled. This trip was going to be something.

---

Even though Shizuma was a hundred miles away at college, Nagisa stilled glared at the phone as the former Étoile's laughter rang in her ears.

"Ahahahahah! Okay, lemme get this straight…" Shizuma chuckled. "_You're _going to France for ten days? Hah! Put Suzumi on the phone; I want to know what she did to convince you."

"Hey, I might not get the opportunity to go abroad again," Nagisa argued. "And seeing as you're the tenth person to laugh at me about this today, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop."

"Heh, okay…Whoo! You in France is going to be like a dyslexic at a spelling bee. What I'd give to be there." Shizuma sighed, and fell quiet, possibly imagining Nagisa in France…or a dyslexic at a spelling bee…or a dyslexic Nagisa at a French spelling bee…

"Jeez, you're always teasing me…" Nagisa pouted into the phone.

"Why _are _you doing this?" the silver-haired girl asked.

"It's…for Tamao-chan. She seems sad these days, and I figured we could use a vacation…"

"Would you go abroad with me someday?"

Nagisa brightened at that idea. "If I got the opportunity, yeah! I'd like to go to Spain one day."

"Do you even know Spanish?"

"Of course I do! _Kalismera!_"

"…Nagisa…that's Greek…"

"Well, exsqueeze me!" Nagisa huffed. Lately Shizuma had been asking the redhead to do the things Tamao had done with her. And now, as Nagisa hung up the payphone, she was beginning to wonder two things. One: Was Shizuma worried that Tamao was competition? And two: Was Tamao competition?

* * *

Welp, that's what I have so far! Leave a review if you liked it and tell me what you think.

~TamaoXNagisa4EVER


	2. Compétition

Here's _le chapitre deux de "Bienvenue en France, Nagisa!" _Ehh, I'm just sorta writing this off the top of my head. Don't know if it's _that _great... The good news is I've started writing chapter 21 of AGUA. Maybe it'll be up tomorrow...?

Review responding time (new method I'm trying out).

**TruePrime: **I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I agree; Mizushima and Chihaya really don't get enough fanfics written about them (I think there's one, but who's counting?) We'll see if Tamao is more than just competition...*smirks knowingly at word processor*

**DarkShinji8003: **Heh I so love using that line, "Exsqueeze me." Glad _le chapitre l'un _could make you laugh; hopefully this one will, too. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about AGUA. And I'm still reading your fic Strawberry Blossoms, and I love it so far ^^

**Major Mike Powell III: **Sir, yes sir! Happy to see you're hooked. If Nagisa thinks Tamao's teasing is rough, just wait till she gets to France lol. Mizushima and Chihaya are Tamao and Nagisa's friends that they only talked to in the beginning of season one --- Chihaya's the pigtailed one, and Mizushima's the purple-haired one. Hell yes, Tamao is competition. At least she's not addicted to augmentation and botox like stupid Shizuma! Right, I will update ASAP! TamaoXNagisa4EVER out! *salutes*

**KaraWasHere: **Yeah, it's like "How the hell do you confuse Spanish with Greek?" lol. This will be interesting...an interesting disaster for our favorite redheaded francophobe.

**Chouch: **Thank you for pointing out that error. I'm only in French I, and my grammar and stuff's pretty rusty. Really, I've only learned to say "Je m'apelle..." and "Comment t'apelle tu?" (and I probably mispelled "comment"). The help really would be appreciated ^^

**ZIIIX: **Yep, I do write out whatever I thinks 'cos that's how I roll :P I'll probably come up with something random and ridonculous to put Mizushima and Chihaya through (though they'll probably mostly be there for comic relief). ...Poor Nagisa, always getting teased. Not my fault she makes herself a target though XD I personally love that line myself. Hope you update soon on Snow Fall, btw, or post chapter one of that SP!/Pokemon xover.

(The chapter title means "competition," but it's a cognate, so you probably already knew that. Sigh, that's the beauty of romance languages...)

* * *

**BIENVENUE EN FRANCE, NAGISA!**

**Le Chapitre Deux**

**Compétition**

Nagisa leaned her elbows on the window sill, letting the early summer breeze ruffle her rust-colored hair and caress her face. Pretty soon school would be out. Pretty soon it would be the end of her fifth year. These days she often thought of college (University of Tokyo was definitely not an option for the redhead), and thoughts of college inevitably turned to thoughts of Shizuma.

Shizuma was a full-time student at college, meaning she spent twelve hours a week in classes. Her major was physics, a very involved major.

The redhead sighed. The Great Bear constellation twinkled in the sky next to Cancer. Those same stars shone over university, where Shizuma was. Those same stars shone over France.

_I wonder if Shizuma-sama ever feels insignificant like this? _Nagisa pulled out her cell phone to find out. She sighed when the usual automated message came on: "Hey, it's me. Leave a message — _beeep._"

Nagisa just closed her phone and threw it down on her bed. These days she'd given up on leaving the former Étoile a message. Shizuma was so inacessible.

"Just one more month."

Nagisa nearly jumped out of her skin. She whirled around to find Tamao standing right there in her pajamas. The poet appeared to be suppressing a grin as usual. She slowly approached her friend to look out the window with her.

"Just one more year," Nagisa sighed.

Tamao nodded, and the two of them were quiet, listening to the sounds of summer night. Crickets chirruping, cicadas rasping, owls hooting, the Headmistress busting a Spican who had missed the curfew — all common summer sounds at Astraea Hill. _You can still hear these sounds no matter where you go, _Nagisa tried to reason with herself. _But you can't hear a Headmistress busting a Spican for missing curfew anywhere but here. _That was a special summer sound.

"What are you scared of?" Nagisa blurted. She knew it was a random question.

Tamao glanced at the redhead; there was something mysterious about the searching look in the poet's violet eyes. She looked down at her hands folded on the sill and replied, her lips seeming to hardly move, "I'm scared of the future…and I know it's a stupid thing to be scared of…" Odd, considering she was talking to someone who was scared of cats. "…but I am. I'm afraid of wasting opportunities, only to be punished by that waste in the future." She looked back up. "The future seems irreversible at times. When you get right down to it, _anything _can make or break your future."

Nagisa nodded. "And this is referring to what? Uni?"

"Oh, anything." Tamao leaned forward a bit. "Uni, jobs, family…relationships…" At 'relationships' Tamao trailed off into silence, and looked away.

Nagisa also looked away. The two of them had run into their share of awkward silences. The redhead had been trying hard to decipher that feeling that snapped between them like electricity in these silences, but she couldn't understand it.

At that moment, the room was full of harsh ringing sounds. This time Tamao started. Nagisa pounced within a quarter of a ring, knowing — hoping for — who it was.

"Moshimoshi!?"

"Hello to you, too." Shizuma's words were slurred; she was drunk. "You've been hanging over your phone, just waiting for me, haven't you?"

Nagisa sighed. "Yes," she admitted softly.

"Good girl." Shizuma hiccuped. The redhead could practically smell the pomegranate cosmo over the phone.

"I'm going to start making the tea, Nagisa-chan," Tamao said as she stalked over to the water heater.

"Is…is Suzumi there?" the former Étoile inquired.

"Yes, _Tamao _is in our dorm."

"Well, I want her out so we can talk in private." Shizuma was always a bit more aggressive when she was drunk. "Say, what're you wearing?"

"I can't kick her out. She _lives _here," Nagisa huffed.

"You sure defend her a lot."

"You sure give me reason to defend her a lot," the redhead retorted.

Tamao looked up from her tea collection, knowing this conversation was about her. She smiled at Nagisa's attempts to defend her, though she had a feeling Shizuma's personality would ultimately blow hers out of the water.

"I'm…not sure how I feel about that," Shizuma murmured.

"That feeling is mutual." Nagisa glanced quickly at Tamao, who immediately busied herself making vanilla sleepytime tea. The redhead stepped purposefully out of the dorm, and ducked down the hall into a nearby bathroom. "Hey, are you…are you…?"

"Angry? Yeah. Horny? Oh, yes," Shizuma purred.

"Are you threatened by Tamao-chan or something?" There. She'd said it. That one issue she'd been forced to skirt around for too long. It was time for the redhead to lay her full house out on the table.

She was expecting a snappish retort, but instead Shizuma laughed. Nagisa was about to say, "It's not funny, I'm serious," when she realized the former Étoile was actually laughing at something going on in the bar scene which Nagisa couldn't see.

"Hey, I gotta go. These goddamn bartenders want me to participate in their friggin' wet T-shirt contest. Have fun picturing that." And with a giggle, Shizuma hung up.

Nagisa stared at her open phone for a moment, furious. This was Shizuma. When she _was _acessible, she was as drunk as a lord. The redhead wanted to crush the phone, maybe throw it against a wall or something, but that small, sensible part of her brain told her not to. Hopelessly, she tried calling Shizuma again.

"Hey, it's me. Leave a message —_ beeep._"

"Well, you oughta be threatened by Tamao-chan!" Nagisa ranted with a punctured lung, feeling close to tears. "She's smarter than you! She's nicer than you!" There. That would do. The redhead closed her phone only to open it and dial Shizuma's number again.

"And the mental picture of you at a wet T-shirt contest disgusts me, too! So there!"

---

The tea party was a rather quiet affair that night. It may've been the vanilla sleeptytime tea. It may've been the approach of summer vacation. It may've been Nagisa's phone conversation with Shizuma. But indeed _something _had subdued Nagisa, Tamao, Mizushima, Chihaya, Yaya, Tsubomi, and Hikari's normally boisterous spirits.

"You all are going to France?" Hikari inquired at one point. "I'm so jealous."

"Room temping…trips to France…" Yaya sighed. "Miator gets to do all the fun stuff."

"Way to show school spirit, Yaya-senpai," Tsubomi snorted.

Yaya smirked at Nagisa. "Boy, what I would give to see you in France, though. When you order caviar, you'll probably sound like you're ordering a bruise."

The redhead didn't even look up. "Have I heard that a million times already…"

"Like you have any room to tease Nagisa-san about that!" Tsubomi scowled. "Without FreeTranslation dot com, you'd fail French III and you know it!"

That was pretty much the only conversation spark that night.

* * *

Gyuhh, well, this chapter was okay at best...

NEXT CHAPTER: Finally they're going to France! Tamao demonstrates to Nagisa how girls greet each other in France ;) Nagisa tries to order coffee and gets a cup of espresso with cinnamon? How does that happen? Find out in _le chapitre trois: Destination Paris!_

Review if you liked! ^^

~TamaoXNagisa4EVER


	3. Destination Paris!

Here it is, folks! _Le chapitre trois de Bienvenue en France, Nagisa! _Took long enough, eh? Well, I had to let my ideas for this chapter stew a little bit (if you've ever made food with fruit, this would be like the masceration process). Lotsa French in this _chapitre_. I've been coming along in my French class: I can recite the alphabet in under 30 seconds, and I can count. I've already learned how to say something dirty in French: _soixante-neuf. _That's French for 69 lolz. Still, I got some help from free translation dot com.

Responding to reviews...

**Kasumi Kusanagi: **Oui, another TxN story! Tres super, non? Yeah, stupid Shizuma...But you know? These days I'm taking more of a liking toward her. Maybe she'll end up with someone who isn't Nagisa by the end of this story...Have a nice nap. Hope you've woken up by now 'cos if you haven't...O-o

**TruePrime: **Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Yeah, that part was fun to write. Definitely Tamao Shizuma and it's about time Nagisa's realized that. Sadly, there won't be a helluva lot of Yaya/Tsubomi moments because they're not going to France because Spica is lame. Hope you enjoy this chapter ^^

**KaraWasHere: **lolz I'd laugh so freakin' hard if there was such an irrational fear as francophobia. It's like _francophobia: the irrational fear of all things French. _WTF...? Yes, there is such a thing as vanilla sleepytime tea and it is delicious! (which reminds me, I gotta go out and buy some more) If you want to drink some I recommend the Celeste brand. ...Yeah, Shizuma, back away from the bottle...

**Major Mike Powell III: **Sir, yes sir! Shizuma ruins everything! I'm gonna start blaming her for everything that goes wrong from now on, like if I forget to do my homework. And hellz yes, she's a slut! The mental image of her in a wet Tshirt contest gave me nightmares for a week! lol that was funny; without free translation dot com this story would fail French and I know it. TamaoXNagisa4EVER out! *salutes*

**DarkShinji8003: **Double AMEN to that! Yeah, Shizuma's kinda annoying sometimes, but I don't necessarily hate her as much as I used to...in fact, I'm thinking of pairing her up with somebody...maybe. It depends on how I'm feeling on that particular day. Yeah, update soon! ^^

**ZIIIX: **Don't worry, there'll be plenty of hilarious Chihaya/Mizushima moments in this chapter. Sadly, I still couldn't update AGUA...Gyuhh, so hopeless, maybe I'll just scrap it for now and come back to it in a year. You'd be surprised at how fast a year goes by.

* * *

**BIENVENUE EN FRANCE, NAGISA!**

**Le Chapitre Trois**

**Destination Paris!**

"Can you close that suit case?" Tsubomi sighed. "It's making me sick."

Chihaya complied, but struggled to clamp the two open ends of her duffel bag together. It was packed full with _everything _— including, but not limited to, Chihaya's wardrobe, book collection, manga collection, electronics, and other knick-knacks.

"Is that your carry-on item, Chihaya?" Mizushima inquired, disguising the shock in her voice.

"Hai," the cook grunted. She tried sitting on top of the duffel bag to force the two ends together. Unfortunately, she wasn't heavy enough.

The archer shook her head. "That won't fit in the overhead baggage compartment. Don't even try it."

Chihaya grinned. "And how would my Mizushima-san know this?"

Mizushima's blue eyes widened and a pink blush dashed her cheeks. "I, uh, hear things…Shut up," she muttered, turning away in a huff. To relieve her embarrassment she busied herself toying with her bow.

"A pity I can't bring this with me," she sighed.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't fit in any of your suit cases," responded Tamao. She paused, then murmured to herself, "Besides, security might consider it a dangerous weapon…?"

Mizushima heard the remark. She protested, "But it's unstrung, and I'm not even bringing arrows with me."

"Calm down," Chihaya ordered, finally getting her duffel bag sealed. "If you weren't going to bring arrows, what did you plan to shoot from that bow? Chicken drumsticks?"

"That reminds me," Nagisa piped up. "I'm hungry."

"Do you even know what a drumstick is?" Yaya asked smartly.

"Of course I do!" the redhead insisted defensively. "It's, um…the head…?"

"I suspected as much…"

"This coming from the girl who can't spell 'cholesterol,'" Tsubomi snorted.

"Oh, shut up, munchkin!"

Tamao shook her head, which was ringing with various arguments: Mizushima and Chihaya arguing about the duffel bag and archery, and Yaya and Tsubomi arguing about nothing and everything encompassed within our dear old solar system. Even Nagisa and Hikari were debating who was smarter in this series.

"At least at some point I figured out myself that Yaya-chan liked me," the blonde pointed out. "Do you even have any idea that Tamao-chan likes you?"

"But you're blonde!" Nagisa squeaked. "Aren't blondes supposed to be kinda spacey and — wait, Tamao-chan likes me?"

"You are certainly a credit to the redheads," Hikari sighed.

Her patience spent, Tamao spread her arms, giving a high-pitched whistle, and everyone shut up abruptly.

"Look, we gotta get going with the packing," she insisted. "Our flight's tomorrow at seven."

"Don't say that word around me," Tsubomi pouted.

"Which word?" Yaya laughed. "Packing? Flight? Tomorrow? Seven?"

The pinkette considered. "All of them."

"What _are _we allowed to say?" Mizushima muttered.

---

The flight to Paris was long and harrowing. The Miator girls had been booked a standard flight, meaning the cockpit was crammed with rows of five seats crushed uncomfortably close together. There was maybe a foot spacing between rows. Everytime Nagisa moved, she bashed her knee against Tamao's leg, which the poet insisted she didn't mind. With considerable effort, Chihaya managed to get her duffel bag in the overhead compartment. A toddler sat behind her and kicked her seat then and throughout the flight. Poor Mizushima — a big, heavy man was sitting in front of her. He slept through eighty percent of the flight, reclined so far back he was practically in the archer's lap. Nobody got any sleep as desperately as they wanted to. When you go that long without sleep you begin to wonder if you're even living in a democratic nation…When you go that long without sleep, you go over the edge…

"Gimme those peanuts!" Chihaya exclaimed, reaching past Tamao to grab them from Mizushima.

"Ouch! Your elbow hit my face!" the poet cried, pinching Chihaya.

"Ow! Jerk! Take that!"

Nagisa came out of her trance long enough to inquire where her beret went.

"I took it," Tamao replied. "You can't go around in Paris looking like that."

"Well, why not?" the redhead pouted. "I thought those things were supposed to be French…"

"You looked like a Beatnik, Nagisa. The French would've stoned you to death for wearing that stupid thing."

"I like the Beatles, though…"

Tamao just sighed, focusing on not getting hit by either Chihaya or Mizushima.

"I mean it, Mizushima-san! **GIVE — ME — THE — PEANUTS!!!**" the cook ground out from clenched teeth.

A bit frightened, the archer shakily passed them to Chihaya.

---

The second Nagisa saw the _Bienvenue en Paris! _sign flashing in the airport, she knew she was in trouble. The look on her face resembled that of a girl who had figured out too late that she'd either set fire to her home or decided to go abroad to a French-speaking country. The airport was abuzz with activity, friends and family greeting each other. The sounds of French hummed together in her ears. It was such a scary, nasally language. She wondered what possessed someone to even think of inventing this language.

"Do you know how to greet someone?" Tamao whispered to her in Japanese.

"Uhh…hai — I mean, oui." Nagisa turned toward her friend to demonstrate. "Bonjour, mademoiselle. Je m'appelle Aoi — errm, Nagisa Aoi. Comment t'appelles toi?" She bowed respectfully.

The poet shook her head, her violet eyes gleaming humorously. "A few things wrong, but for the most part that was right. First: it's 'comment t'appelles tu?' not 'comment t'appelles toi?' Second: nobody bows here in greeting. They shake hands, like this…" Tamao put her hand out.

Nagisa just stared blankly at it.

"Take my hand," the poet instructed slowly.

Awkwardly, Nagisa raised her right hand to clasp Tamao's. The poet's hand was soft, but cold and sweaty. Tamao gave it a single pump, then dropped her hand back down to her side.

"Please be sure to actually grip their hand, Nagisa-chan," she smiled. "I felt like I was shaking hands with a corpse. Now, do you know how girls greet each other in France?"

Nagisa frowned, and itched her head in confusion. Tamao's smile broadened at her friend's effort. Nagisa sucked at French, yes, but she always, always tried to get it right. The poet waited either for their _leçon de salutationes _to come back to the redhead or for Nagisa to get a clue and look around the airport to see what the native _filles _were doing.

"They…also shake hands…?"

Tamao shook her head. "Nope. They kiss."

Nagisa's garnet eyes widened. "Ehh? Like on the lips?"

"No. On the cheek." The poet threw a quick glance sideways, then seized Nagisa's shoulders and lightly pecked her cheeks four times. "Like that," she mumbled, her lips lingering for a moment on the redhead's face. Tamao withdrew. "The amount of times you kiss depends on the location. Here they kiss four times."

"How did you know that?" Nagisa was sporting an excoriating beamer.

"I checked, and saw other girls kissing each other four times."

As the four Miator friends got their baggage, Tamao and Nagisa were approached by two girls. One of them had short dark brown hair in a pixie cut, a roundish face, and hazel eyes. The other girl had long lighter-brown hair, angular features, and sharp blue eyes. The latter stepped forward boldly and inquired, "_Vous sont rester à le dortoir fraise?_" :Are you staying at the Strawberry Dormitory?:

"_Oui_," Tamao responded. "_Toi, aussi?_" :Yes. You, too?:

Blue Eyes nodded, and gestured at her short-haired friend, who was frowning at her. "_Nous sommes américainnes._" :We are American.:

Pixie-Cut stepped forward now, kissing Tamao's cheeks. "_L'excuser mon ami. Bonjour! Comment t'appelles tu?_" :Excuse my friend. Hello! What's your name?:

"_Je m'appelle Tamao Suzumi,_" the poet introduced herself. She gestured at her three companions. "_Elle s'appelle Nagisa Aoi. Elle s'appelle Chihaya. Elle s'appelle Noriko Mizushima._"

"Mizushima," the archer clarified, hesitantly stepping forward to greet the two Americans.

"_Enchante_," Pixie-Cut smiled shyly. "_Je m'appelle Brigitte. Elle s'appelle Margot._"

"Err, Bridget…?" Blue Eyes murmured in English. "I don't think we should introduce ourselves by those French nicknames Mademoiselle Jones gave us."

"Ah, you're right." The pixie-haired one named Bridget looked back at the Miator girls, blushing. "_Excuse moi. Je m'appelle Bridget et elle s'appelle Molly._"

"_Enchante_," Molly sang, her voice trilling.

"Umm… _Parlez vous anglais?_" Tamao asked.

"_Oui._" Bridget lowered her chin, fixing her serious gaze on the poet. "You know English?" she asked _en anglais._

"Yes."

Bridget breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Ah, _dieu merci! _I've only had one year to study French, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk to my flatmates. What a relief it is that I can speak English with you guys!"

Molly sweat-dropped. "Uh, Bridget, the reason Mademoiselle Jones brought our class here was so we could speak French in a French-speaking country."

The pixie-haired girl bristled. "Yah, well you know what, Molly? I don't see Mademoiselle Jones tailing behind us and yelling for every time we speak English!"

Molly seemed indifferent to Bridget's outburst. She grinned, "Not yet. But God willing, she will find some way to make you speak French…Unless you're worried that you'll be laughed at."

Bridget snorted, and turned away. "Er, er, of course not! Don't be ridiculous!"

"Hey, it's okay," Tamao assured. "Nagisa-chan can't speak French well either."

"Not even my English is that well," the redhead added, her speech choppy and hesitant.

Molly checked her watch. "Well, we've got a few hours before we're to report to Strawberry Hall. Wanna grab some coffee?"

Tamao grinned. "Yeah!" She seemed confused when she saw Nagisa pouting. "Doesn't my Nagisa-chan like coffee?"

"It's not that I don't," the redhead responded in Japanese. "I'm just not looking forward to ordering it in French…"

* * *

**NOTE DE L'AUTEURE**

Ahh, I LOVE French!

Nagisa: You should be committed.

Me: Ton visage devrait etre commis.

Nagisa:..........

I thought so. Anyways!

(I told Nagisa her face should be committed lol)

Bridget and Molly are basically me and my girlfriend (since Yaya and Tsubomi won't be in France). I'm so looking forward to my trip to France this summer!

And you know? After learning Spanish and then learning French, I'm beginning to realize why Nagisa struggled with it: The Japanese, much like the Spanish, luuuurve their vowels, and pronounce every one of them individually...whereas in French, you don't pronounce everything that's written. Here's something funny: every single character on Strawberry Panic! mispronounces Etoile. Listen carefully to how they say it: "Eh-toe-i-leh." WRONG. It's "Ey-TWAHL." The E at the end is silent, but of course vowel-loving languages like Japanese and Spanish (and perhaps Italian) would pronounce that E.

NEXT CHAPTER: Nagisa's a hopeless wreck in Paris. We'll actually see her make several common and stupid mistakes in French. For sure, the natives are going to laugh their asses off. And just when we thought Shizuma was gone...dun dun dunnnn! All that in _le chapitre quatre: Pardone moi francais._


	4. Pardone Moi Français

Yay a hilarious chapter of _Bienvenue en France, Nagisa! _I'm tired from writing...

Review responding!

**johann ghill: **Muchas gracias para tu revisión. Sí, puedo entender tu español. Hay mas Shizuma en este capítulo, and there will be more Shizuma in the next few chapters (forgot how to say that in Spanish, I hate the verb "haber.")

**KaraWasHere: **lol Tamao would so do that. I'm surprised they never did that in the series. It would've been great. I'm sure Molly and I could replace Yaya and Tsubomi, but I'm not sure if we do so yet...

**TruePrime: **Pardon my ignorance, but what is fourth wall? Is that like in crackfics where characters comment on the series? I'm assuming so because that's what Nagisa and Hikari did. French coffee is very depressing lol...

**Major Mike Powell III: **Sir, yes sir! A pixie cut's like those short styles for girls; they look sorta Peter Pan-ish. Poor Nagisa indeed, just wait until you read this! XD Yep, Shizuma's back, that unbelievable bitch...

**ZIIIX: **Yay a newer chapter, and more funny than the last. Gahh, let's hope Molly and I can fill Yaya and Tsubomi's places. I don't think we do a good job in this chapter. I talked to Molly about this, and she wants there to be a scene in which she fist-fights Shizuma. That'll be fun...Chiyo's name is Tsukidate. I have no idea what Chihaya's is, though. ...That fourth wall thing was kinda filler, mostly humor, maybe turning this thing into a quasi-realistic crackfic?

**DarkShinji8003: **Goodness, if you choked at the last chapter, I hope this one doesn't kill you.

Enjoy! The chapter title means "pardon my French."

* * *

**BIENVENUE EN FRANCE, NAGISA!**

**Le Chapitre Quatre**

**Pardone Moi Français**

It wasn't France itself nor its natives Nagisa was scared of. It was the _idea _of the natives she'd grown up with. Turn on any nihilistic TV program, and the French are almost always portrayed as boorish and snobby. Nobody hated America more than the French (the Japanese weren't crazy about them, but it wasn't like they were unwelcome in Japan). Given this, Nagisa was sure they would hate her guts as soon as she opened her mouth and exposed her lack of prowess in speaking…_that language._

The six girls traipsed about the streets of Paris, in search of a café. Molly, like any tourist, was under the impression that Paris would be _teeming _with coffee shops. As it was, the city was teeming with restaurants and bookstores, just like the city in Ohio the blue-eyed girl left behind.

"This is what I paid almost a thousand dollars for?" Molly snorted. "What a rip-off!"

"What were you expecting?" Bridget asked irately, clearly tired from their aimless walking.

"If there's nothing authentic, couldn't we at least have a Starbucks?"

Nagisa bobbed her head in agreement. "Yeah," she spoke in English. "You could find at least twenty Starbucks in Kyoto."

"See? The French neophyte agrees with me."

"The French neophyte thinks screaming 'bottleneck' is a proper way to carry a conversation in French," Bridget growled.

_Bottleneck _was one of the only French nouns Nagisa knew, along with the French word for _snail. _In the course of half an hour she was already approached by three natives — one was handing out flyers, one asking for directions, and one asking Nagisa if he could buy her a drink. Nagisa had either responded with "bottleneck" or "snail." She'd probably already attained a reputation as "that Asian girl who screams 'bottleneck' and 'snail.'"

Mizushima, who had been relatively quiet throughout the trek, suddenly perked up. She pointed ahead, exclaiming, "Them is the coffee shop there!" Her English wasn't as good as Nagisa's and Tamao's.

Molly craned her neck, scanning above the heads of cityfolk going back and forth. "_Voil la!_" she exclaimed happily. Then she read the sign: "Espresso Royale."

Bridget brightened. "Ah! There's one in Champaign-Urbana! They have awesome lemonade."

The six of them dashed heedlessly across the street — heedlessly, with the exception of the Pepsi semi that nearly ran them over — to the little shop.

It was cold in Espresso Royale, almost too cold. Tamao vaguely suspected it was this cold just so people would buy more hot coffee. Chihaya bounced forward boldly, appropriately demonstrating how one should order a coffee in France.

"_Bonjour, mademoiselle,_" the boy behind the counter greeted. "_Ça va?" _:Hello, miss. How's it going?:

"_Bien, merci_," Chihaya responded brightly, her brown eyes taking in the odd Roman alphabet on the menu. "_Peux-j'avoir un petit café noir?_" :Fine, thank you. Can I have a small black coffee?:

The boy nodded, and tapped on his cash register. When he told her the price, Chihaya winced, realizing all she had brought with her was yen. That was when Molly stepped forward to pay and order, for she had exchanged her money for euros in advance.

Molly ordered a pumpkinspice latte. Bridget ordered lemonade. Mizushima ordered a Coke. Tamao ordered a mocha. Nagisa went last on purpose so she could try and absorb as much French as possible from the others. Now as she awkwardly shuffled forward, she felt the French she'd absorbed go whirling out of her head. Whatever happens to those thoughts that disappear like that?

She realized the boy was staring at her. Waiting for her to order.

"Erm, _ça va?_" he inquired stiffly.

Nagisa froze. What was the word, what was the word…? "Bottleneck!" she spluttered.

Bridget slapped her forehead. Molly laughed.

As painfully awkward as this situation was, Tamao couldn't help smiling. Nagisa was so cute when she blushed. Right now she was only mildly embarrassed, meaning her cheeks were a soft pink hue. When Nagisa was severely embarrassed, her ears flushed red as well as her chest and neck. The poet knew how to make Nagisa feel that embarrassed and guiltily tried to as much as possible.

The boy's mouth twitched; he was trying not to laugh. In a soft voice he asked her a question, probably asking her to make her order.

"Snail!" Nagisa blurted.

His face was red. She was really making not laughing a challenge for him. He shook his head, murmuring, "_Non, non. Nous n'avons pas cela ici._" :No, no. We don't have that here.:

"Hammer? Screwdriver?"

"_Non, merci. Je l'un ai à la maison._" :No, thanks. I have one at home.:

Nagisa was more than embarrassed; she was outright terrified. It was Tamao holding onto her arm in an affectionate gesture that kept the redhead from tearing out of the shop away from this laughing French boy.

"_Café noir,_" the poet murmured in her ear.

"Ehh? Nando yo?"

"_Café noir,_" Tamao repeated patiently. "A black coffee."

"Cuh-cuh-_café noir_," Nagisa stuttered. Still giggling, the boy rang up her order.

"Let's never do that again," the redhead moaned miserably as they headed back out. Today evening had decided to close in early on Paris. It was only 16:28, but bruised thunderclouds rolled in as a precursor to tonight's weather...and in a way, it was a precursor to another great event for that evening...

---

They were staying in an apartment complex with the other visiting American and Japanese students. About twenty flats had been subletted, for their owners were abroad in other countries. The other fifty or so flats were occupied by natives, some of whom clearly not happy to see these Yanks and Japs tainting their quiet little complex. Tamao had, as a matter of fact, made the acquaintance of one Madame Ponce, an ancient woman staying in the flat across from hers. The poet had seen the woman hunched over a walker, making her way slowly back to her apartment. As she had been taught to with the elderly back at home, Tamao stepped out of this woman's way and offered some help.

_"Bonne suare, _madame," she greeted. She'd almost bowed, but remembered the general French greeting. She put her hand out.

Madame Ponce just glared at her.

As best she could, Tamao kept up her friendly smile. _"Comment ça va? Avez-vous besoin de quelque aide?_" She was offering to help the old woman.

"Shut up," Madame Ponce snapped in English. "I hate you. I really, really hate you."

Call the poet sensitive, but she took it kind of personally.

Meanwhile in the flat Bridget and Chihaya were raiding the kitchen. At first they'd amiably agreed to work on dinner together. That, however, was quickly shot to hell once they figured out how different their methods were.

"What are you doing?" Bridget inquired.

"Stirring the pasta," Chihaya answered flatly.

"That's, like, the millionth time you've stirred it in the past ten minutes. It's going to be too soft."

"Oh, would you relax," Chihaya grinned. "Nobody likes uncooked pasta."

"Some may like it al dente, but nobody likes it softer than gum," the pixie-haired girl pouted.

While Bridget and Chihaya argued, Molly was preparing a lesson plan for Nagisa in the living room. Her plan was for Nagisa to write down ten nouns to learn each day.

"As a matter a fac'," Molly chirped in her bizarre accent, "we'll start today! Write down and look up five nouns."

"Hai," Nagisa nodded, pulling out her dictionary.

**_CRASH!!! _**"Goddamn it, Bridget!" Chihaya screamed. "Kintama! Baka yaro! Get out!!!"

Bridget came running out of the kitchen with a few ill-aimed pots and pans flying out after her. Once she'd gotten far enough away, she settled down on the floor, gasping for breath. "Jesus Christ," she panted. "You make one little mistake with nutmeg and..."

"What happened?" Mizushima asked from the couch on which she was lying.

The pixie-haired girl blanched. "You don't want to know..."

"Bet I able to guess," the archer sighed.

---

Dinner had been a mildly violent affair. Violent to the stomach, for Chihaya had overcooked the pasta. And violent to the mind, for there were arguments between Chihaya and Bridget mostly, but also between Chihaya and Mizushima, and Bridget and Molly. Afterward, Tamao and Nagisa wisely hid away from all the chaos in their shared bedroom.

"French quiz time!" the poet sang, tearing the light novel out of her friend's grasp.

"Aww, Tamao-chan! Cut me a break for once!" Nagisa rolled onto her back, and irratibly pulled her pillow over her head.

"Not a prayer," Tamao grinned, seating herself on the edge of the redhead's bed. "What's the French word for 'cute'?"

"I'm not doing this," Nagisa mumbled, rolling away from the poet.

"_Honte, _that's not how you say 'cute' _en français_." Giggling, Tamao scooted closer to Nagisa. The redhead had curled herself into a ball, leaving her backside vulnerable. As light as a feather, yet as sharply as a triggerfish, Tamao trailed her fingernail swiftly up Nagisa's spine. The redhead squealed, and Tamao pounced. The poet hooked her arms around her friend's waist while Nagisa smacked her with her pillow, the two of them laughing and screeching. They tusseled for a moment on the bed before Tamao had Nagisa suitably beaten into submission. The poet sat upon the redhead's waist, pinning her hands down on the mattress.

"Let's try this again," Tamao purred. "How do you say 'cute' in French?"

"I honest-to-God don't know, Tamao-chan!" Nagisa insisted. "Please get off me!"

"I will...if you could at least tell me how girls greet each other in France."

"Tamao!"

"Hint: It's not a handshake."

"You're so mean! I don't know, okay?" _Wow, our faces are really close, _she realized. Then she had the answer. "Oh, yeah. They kiss on the cheek."

"That's right." Tamao brought her face closer.

"Great...Umm...Can you get off me, now? You promised..." A small, choked gasp escaped her lips as Tamao roughly kissed her cheeks twice. It wasn't that chaste greeting peck, either, but a warm, wet smooch. Nagisa was then aware of how long it had been since anyone kissed her like that. Shizuma was away at college most of the time. When they did see each other, all the former Étoile was interested in doing was making out. Was it just Nagisa, or was the cheek-kiss underestimated?

"Remember this for next time," the poet sighed, getting off Nagisa, "but you, um, have to kiss back. It's sorta antisocial to not do so."

"H-hai." The redhead was blushing profusely, her garnet eyes fixed on Tamao.

Tamao smiled at Nagisa, causing her to blush more deeply. Nagisa managed a watery grin, but her head felt ready to explode. Her heart was arrythmic. Her stomach was doing jumping jacks. She'd never had Tamao that close to her, in such a vulnerable position...

The moment was spoiled by Nagisa's cell phone ringing. Tamao already knew who it would be, and that brought her back to reality. _Idiot, _she told herself. _The only way you'd ever get to kiss her is in greeting...and there's only so many times I can take advantage of that before I become too obvious..._

"Moshimoshi," Nagisa sighed.

"Yay, I finally got through to you." Despite the message, Shizuma sounded far from happy. "What were you up to? Being disgusted in me? Praising that stupid Smurf-head for being so 'smart' and 'nice'?"

Nagisa bristled. "As a matter of fact, I was! She was...erm...uh, giving me a lesson in French." _Yeah, we'll say that..._

"How is Paris, by the way?"

"Horrible, but I guess I'm having fun."

"Having fun? Having fun with _whom?_"

"Who else would I have fun with?" Then it hit Nagisa like a ton of lead. "Oh my God. You think I'm cheating on you?"

Tamao looked up sharply from her book.

Shizuma didn't respond.

"Sh-Shizuma-sama, I would _never—"_

"What do you see in her anyways?" Shizuma asked.

"Who?"

"Don't make me say her name..._her_...Suzumi..."

Nagisa glanced anxiously at Tamao. "I-I don't see _anything _in her. She's a friend."

"What kind of friend?"

"Wh-wha...This is ridiculous!"

"Hm, I already know. She's 'smart.' She's 'nice.' Really great qualities in a girlfriend," the former Étoile snorted.

Nagisa could've gone on to deny her relationship status with Tamao, but Shizuma didn't seem to believe her. So she responded, "They're better qualities than being domineering, untrusting, and accusatory...not to mention a raging alcoholic!"

The redhead caught Tamao pressing her book to her reddening face. The poet was shaking. She was laughing.

"I know Suzumi's type. She preys on girls like you," Shizuma growled.

"Girls like me?"

"Airheaded romantics. You're too easy."

"Yeah, and _that's _why she cornered me to kiss me every opportunity she got?" Nagisa snapped sarcastically. "You're the one who preyed on me!"

"God, she's got you hypnotized..." Shizuma sighed. "Fine. You're a lost cause. And I don't care, because this really hot girl just walked past me, and I don't want to pass up the opportunity to 'prey on her.'" And she hung up.

Her eyes wide, Nagisa let her cell phone drop from her hand. It landed on the carpeted floor with a soft _thunk! _Tamao leaned past Nagisa, her breasts brushing unintentionally, but provacatively nonetheless, against the redhead's thighs. She held the phone out to Nagisa, but the redhead didn't take it. So it was really over. Nagisa knew most girls would cry and grieve over a situation like this. The redhead didn't feel the urge to do this, though she felt like she should.

Tamao immediately knew what had happened, and sensed her friend's sadness. She leaned forward and gently pulled Nagisa into a warm hug. They'd stayed like that for half an hour, Nagisa sobbing like a baby out of social obligation. Tamao just held her without looking at her or speaking to her. And, Nagisa realized, that was just what she needed right now.

---

The next day found Tamao, Nagisa, Bridget, and Molly at the local supermarket. Bridget was looking for ingredients for that night's dinner. After a verbal bordering on physical conflict, she and Chihaya agreed to take turns making dinner.

Molly turned to Nagisa. "Have you been looking up your nouns as I instructed?"

"Yep," the redhead nodded.

"Great." Molly smirked, her blue eyes gleaming mischievously. "Then you get to pay for the groceries!" She passed Nagisa the basket.

"You're mean, Molly-chan."

"Oh, I know it..."

The three of them watched as the French neophyte stepped forward to pay for the food. The cashier looked at Nagisa and said, "_Bonjour, mademoiselle. Ça va?_"

"Witch doctor!" Nagisa responded brightly.

Molly groaned. The cashier stared at the redhead in horror. Nagisa, in turn, frowned, knowing she'd done something wrong. She tried again.

"Typewriter?...Soap?..."

* * *

lolz I loved writing this.

NEXT CHAPTER: Nagisa struggles to socialize with the French. And who comes knock-knock-knocking on their apartment door...? In _chapitre cinq: l'idiote de village. _("The Village Idiot.")


	5. An Author's Note?

**Please accept my humble apologies.**

If you've checked my profile recently you probably already know what this is concerning. I'm discontinuing all my Strawberry Panic! fanfics...at least for now. Maybe someday in the distant future I can pick them back up where I left off, but I can't see that happening within...maybe three years. I guess I started too many big SP! stories, bit off more than I could chew, and then started a big K-ON! story to boot. Also, I sorta knew that one day I'd really burn myself out on Strawberry Panic! and I guess that day has come. Don't worry, I love it all the same and there really are some terrific fics on this archive that I may never grow tired of reading. One day I'll probably rekindle my interest in writing for this series...Sort of like how I rekindled my interest in the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini (I used to be obsessed with that series).

At any rate, I may still drop in a one-shot or two, or some parodies. I just can't immerse myself in any big projects right now. Not just fanfiction, but _anything. _I'm getting married in February (no, not on Valentine's Day because that's a cliche), so that means I have to dedicate myself half to finding a job to support this new life and half to working on my graphic novel series Vernal Equinox which I intend to publish (yes, it's yuri). I'm working on a sort of parody-survey for Strawberry Panic! which I found on the Inheritance Cycle archive. I'll publish it as soon as I finish. Shouldn't take long.

On my profile I've listed some of my favorite series and pairings, so if any of them are your favorites as well you can possibly expect a story in their respective archives. I'm also trying to create a Strawberry Panic! abridged series on YouTube, under my beezyh5 account. I've finished creating the opening, so if it interests you, subscribe and comment and stuff.

I'm sorry that I can't continue these fics now. But seriously, look on this archive and you'll find some real gems. I would list them here, but I dunno...seems kinda wrong to either endorse or hate on a fic in this setting. I'm just saying that there are superior alternatives to my Strawberry Panic! stories.

For what it's worth, I had fun writing these. Thank you all for your reviews and support. Nothing means more to a writer!

~TamaoXNagisa4EVER


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